rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
