Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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