There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
