i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
