and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize