I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
