I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
