Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
