this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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