Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
