I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dicks are not precious.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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