I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
