Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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