There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
