How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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