He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
