Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
