This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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