Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
