help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
