I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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