can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize