i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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