tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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