woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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