On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
