i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
BRING THE BAGELS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
