He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There's always time for handjobs
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
