Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
