Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
