Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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