i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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