I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize