We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize