Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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