dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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