you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
