just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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