Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
