my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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