I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
