the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
