Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
