I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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