If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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