I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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