4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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