I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Randomize
