I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
