i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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