It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
