If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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