Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
