I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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