You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
